


Waves

by Wildfirewarren



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell, Fangirl - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Cliffs of Insanity, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Emotional Hurt, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mental Institutions, My First AO3 Post, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 13:42:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11254113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wildfirewarren/pseuds/Wildfirewarren
Summary: I don't really know what to say without ruining it.Simon's povEmotionally HarrowingSimon is by himself with his thoughts and some stuff happens I don't want to say anything else because then the cat's out of the bag.It's an AU





	Waves

Okay so first off before you get into it I want to say thank you for stumbling across my first post on here, I am fandom trash and I hope you enjoy this.

Much love please leave your opinions and whatever else you want to do below!

In case you didn't already see the tags and warnings and stuff, this mentions mental health, character death and suicide. If there's anything else please let me know.

* * *

 

I stare out of the window and gaze at the beautiful swirling sea below, it's really quite something living so close to the shore. The fresh sea air, the cold blue depths of the infinite water which stretches out beyond the horizon to other shores with other people and other lives. I feel small, insignificant and at that moment my closest to wanting to go home and see  _his_  face, that perfect arrangement of flawless features set upon his dark and carved visage. With his long raven hair brushing his ears and framing his defined jawline.

I'd do anything to see that smirk again, to see his soft lips curl up at the edge showing his startling white teeth clean and fresh like the cologne he also wears, like freshly cut grass and mint and cleanliness and so so much more. I can feel something warm and salty brush my lips ,and all of a sudden, I realise that I'm crying, and shit it won't stop and I'm sobbing and it pulls at my chest heaving up ache after ache as I scream in my complete and utter devastation. I look out at the ocean, that goddamn ocean and I think of him. I think of his grey, steely storm like eyes, and I collapse onto the carpeted floor and curl up as tight as possible which makes my breath feel constricted and I feel as if the walls are closing in. My knees up to my chest and my face buried in between as if I'm trying to disappear which I guess I am.

My tears are soaking my crumpled shirt and I ache all over my outburst exhausting me. I'm in so much pain it's endless and this isn't physical pain this is so much worse right in the centre of my head pounding away at my feelings as if they were a pinata, my chest keeps racking up these sobs that leave me shaking and breathless and I'm sweating and anxious and unable to move as my emotions start to drown me, push me over the edge into an oblivion. My sleeves are already pulled over my hands as I reach up to wipe my face.

God I need to see him one last time, I can't bear being without him and I know it sounds crazy but I can't help it because.... I love him.

Then it all floods back as if my mind is playing some sick twisted joke and I can't see anymore because the endless stream of tears are clouding my vision again and I simply can't stop shaking as I lie on the ground, tears streaming across my face slowly dripping to the floor, I'll never see him again.

I'll never see the love of my life Baz. 

I sit up and edge over the grey carpet, bland like the institution I'm in as I rock backwards and forwards in the corner, shaking my head furiously because this can't be happening right now. My hands are grasping and tearing away at the carpet, my already destroyed nail beds bleeding again and staining the carpet with bits of red.

Because when you're in a mental institution you forget things and I hate myself for it because how could I forget? How could I do that?

3 years ago I came here, and 3 years ago, Basilton Tyrannous Pitch, the love of my life committed suicide. 

 


End file.
